Have you ever just wanted to crawl away and hide?
I used to love to make forts inside my closet as a kid. I’d close the door and use a flashlight to read a stack of books. My door had slats in it, so I could see out, but no one could tell that I was inside.

This summer, I went into hiding. Not really intentionally, but I did. I didn’t take my kids to very many attractions or parks. We played in our house and in our yard. I nursed and cuddled a fussy baby on our large back porch, while my kids picked the green tomatoes in the garden. I didn’t really care.

You see, I have been sleep deprived for about 8 months. The first 3 are ok. You expect that. But then you expect to get at least 4 hours in a row. Nope, not here. I don’t say this to be rude, but please don’t fill my inbox with book suggestions and sleep training ideas. I’ve been down this road two times already, and successfully sleep trained my girls. And I used two different methods. This time, I have tried every method I have read and re-read. I own all the books, people! (Seriously, I box me for suggestions…I have a list).

I’ve never called my husband to come home from work to help me in the middle of the day.
But I did.
I have never left water running enough to flood a basement.
I have now.
I have always been a great multitasker.
I laugh at that word now.
My office was piled high with suggested projects, for our home, for others and for the girls.
They are now neatly tucked away so as not to overwhelm me and my new norm.
Boys are high maintenance! What silly person ever said girls and women are? Seriously.
Baby M loves to be held, loves attention and loves to eat. While I know he isn’t hungry at 3am, I sometimes give in, just so the crying stops.

I am thankful that I was wise enough to take a step back. A step back from trying to keep up my social life. The Mister is really good about coming home and being ok with me going out for a quick coffee or walk around Wal-Mart. Who knew grocery shopping alone could clear your head so much.

And I have taken up drinking tea…not just coffee (I am on my way to make a latte as soon as I finish this post)
I actually do feel more “healthy”.

I do have a desire to just be able to blog all the time and to write again. To create some great things to help me around the house (and share them here with a nice video blog), but that will come in time. In time these moments will just be memories and photos. My kids will all be in school or almost. I will have a child in preschool this year two mornings a week (seriously, more options in Canada please!). Soon they won’t need all my attention and will be down in the basement playing by themselves for hours.

But until then, you may only read my posts once and awhile. And that…is ok with me. The internet will still be here later, and I can still grow my business. But for right now, It’s important that I listen to the still small voice of God inside and slow down to enjoy the moments.

Happy last week of Summer!


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