When I think of a village…I always think of these wonderful characters-Aunt Olivia and Aunt Hetty from Road to Avonlea. They raised their niece as their own after their brother died. But there were also many more people in the mix. I’ll spare you the details, especially in case The Mister is reading this (he’s already watched wayyyyy too many episodes to be bored again), but the whole extended King family raised the kids in the mix.
Lately I have been exhausted. Hence, my absence from writing here. I so desperately wanted to. I am trying not to be on the computer when the girls are awake. Why? Well, I had a revelation…they are growing up! (Duh, right? Yeah, I know…I blame the sleep deprivation). I need to take time and be patient.
Patient for what? Well, The Lord really got a hold of me the other day at Ladies. “Slow down and enjoy the crazy, out of control moments.”
One day, everyone will be in school. I’ll be at home cleaning the bathtub (so that when they get home, I can help with homework and hear about their day), and I will think back to the crazy splashing, wet socks, and naked littles running out of the bathroom with the cape towels behind them.
Patience also leads to taking time away to refuel. Even if that is a coffee and some people watching at your local coffee shop. Sometimes that’s what you need. Quiet your soul so that you can listen. Listening is different than hearing. Listening is truly processing what those around you are saying.
Back to the Village. I have one. We all do. Yours may look different than mine. I really don’t want my girls to only be with me. Then there will be three identical people in this house (bad thing!), since I think I would try and control their behaviour to be like mine. (Again, not always good). Monday, I had virtually no sleep the night before. Baby M thought staying up was a good idea. Then he thought constantly waking was a good idea. He is starting to get teeth (a signal drop by the constant drooling). So I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. I am also trying to hold him more during the day. Even if that means filling sippy cups with one hand (see-my house = circus!) Monday morning was rough. My girls always greet me so happy-but I was still deep in sleep from a 5:30 wake up call…and it was only 6:20! So off to Nana’s house we went (who had enjoyed a full night of sleep 🙂 . I walked twice around a mall and sauntered through costco (with Baby M in the wrap). I even dropped the groceries off, almost had a 20 minute cat nap (Baby M had other plans!) and picked them up at 3:00. I felt much better. (The Mister was working overtime since Sunday into Tuesday, so I need to store up some rest)
Now, I know what some of you are saying…I can’t do that. My mom or mother in law lives thousands of miles away.
Here’s my point. We all have a village. For the sake of ourselves and our littles, we all need to foster that village. Send cards to say thank you. Bring them a coffee (afterall, You know what it is like after a full day of littles with energy!)
Your village may be full of relatives at arms reach. Thankfully, mine is. But I know the other side.
Growing up, we moved around because my dad was in the RCMP. Not alot, but still my relatives lived East of Toronto. And yes, I do remember how lonely it was at times not having my “real” family around. But that never stopped my mom. She seemed to always have a village for us. My parents found babysitters through word of mouth, sent us up the street to play with the neighbor kids, left us with church friends for the weekend. They made us a village. Those people poured into my life just like my parents did. I am thankful that my mom didn’t let being away from her family get in the way from creating such a wonderful environment for us to grow up in.
And yes, now I have it the other way. And we have made a choice to stay here (and I really don’t always like the weather…first time I can remember still having snow this close to May!) , we have had opportunities to move. But I like my village. And don’t really want to start over again right now.
Where ever you are, I believe we as mommies create that village for our kids. Listen to the Lord. He will guide you to the people that will make up your village.
Don’t forget to take a time out yourself. I would say at least twice a week for Momma’s at home all day, every day. Recharge so you can take charge 🙂
Who’s in your village?