It’s funny how quick life moves when you are in the thick of it, yet how slow it can seem some days.
Is it even lunch yet?
I often thought as a new Mom. The days just trickled by. Lazy walks through the mall, or the snow or the fresh spring sidewalks filled my days. My firstborn napped through any movement of her car seat…often for hours at a time.
Then I had two.
Oh my second born was a different baby. She ate for all of three minutes and was done and off to watch her big sister play in her little rose petal cottage or set up a tea party.
Then I blinked.
I’m sitting today at a cafe table while my oldest three are at school and my youngest is at a ballet class….non-parented.
I have a cup of coffee and a book. It’s quiet. No one is asking for a snack. No one needs to go pee. I feel the tears press against my eyes as I realize really ‘they’ were right. Seasons are gone in a blink of an eye.
Oh but did I enjoy my early years of mothering. The toys were only in bins-never sorted. I was too busy sitting outside watching them play. There were always lots of crumbs on the floor-which meant a lot of socks in the wash. I wore a lot of leggings because my jeans didn’t fit right anymore and I had ambitions about getting back into them.
When my fourth was born. I would sit and hold her for hours, watching cartoons. We’d go to pick up siblings at school and I’d take her out of her car seat while we waited. I had learned how fast the little moments go. I was going to savour my last even more.
I’m not really sure how I did 4 under 5. But I do know we played a lot.
You see, I saw how fast my two oldest grew. I started a little side business sewing baby/toddler clothes and accessories. I’d sew while they napped. And while a hustle is great, and can teach our kids so many things about hard work. I also learned the other side. I hate to admit it, but I have to search through my baby notes to find out what my second daughter’s first word was. I remember everyone else’s.
Basically, I can sum it up in the words of Elsa….”let it go” . I learned to let go what didn’t matter. My house was normally tidy. But if you came in during the day, we were really busy making memories.
Don’t get me wrong, I like a clean house. So I taught my girls to at least put toys back in a bin. Sometimes it went in the bin with the corresponding picture. Sometimes that didn’t happen. They learned the dust and sweep when our third, our surprise baby boy arrived.
I was really grateful God allowed us to have two more “surprises” (yes, I know how babies happen….but from someone with getting pregnant being difficult, it wasn’t what I expected). These two last babies helped me look back upon pictures and videos and write down and savour what I may have missed. It allowed me to learn to slow down and enjoy the season I’m in.
Because I knew how fast it would go.
It never, ever seemed like that at the time. Ever.
But today as I sit here waiting for 20 minutes to pick up my last baby, I look back without regret. I learned. I grew. I changed.
And that, is life well lived. And that is what I hope I pass on to my kids. Don’t let moments pass without taking them in deep. Keep learning. Keep growing. Accept change. Don’t ever arrive. Keep moving forward, who knows what’s around the bend.
I can assure you silence and hot coffee are.